jackie jormp-jomp

maggie is frank


judah is margaret

caitlin is pete

hornberger is me

why are you handcuffed to the bookshelf i built my hus-band?

while making copies in the faculty lounge at school this past week, i overheard one teacher telling a colleague about an almost-altercation with a female student in class... she rehashed the story step by step, and when she got to the part where the student stood up and started coming at the teacher, this educator/storyteller imitated her reaction to the student: "oh we are not going to do this right now" [starts removing hoop earrings].


in that moment, i realized that even though i didn't know this teacher at all, i immediately trusted her as a human being. and it wasn't until i re-watched the 30 Rock episode "kidney now!", in which jenna almost fights with some bitch on a faux-tyra banks talk show and starts pulling off her hoops, that i noticed when someone removes their earrings at the prospect of a fight, i feel like we really understand each other. this is probably why i love 30 Rock so much- as soon as i came to this realization, i remembered that sherri shepherd's character also tore some gold off her ears when she found liz lemon handcuffed to tracy's bookshelf in "dealbreakers talk show no. 0001":


in conclusion, i still love 30 Rock, i trust tina fey with my life, and i never want to stop working in mexicantown.

you take your reward, lemon. you take your reward

i can't believe i'm going to say this, tina fey, but after re-watching your 30 Rock episode "black light attack!" tonight, i finally understand why people think you're hot... and it's freaking me the fuck out.


i used to see pictures of you all pose-y and think to myself what are you doing, girl? 'hot' is not your game, and it makes me sad that when you're rewarded for being funny you go all sad-funny-girl-posing-in-her-mirror-looking-kinda-fugly-but-hoping-she's-britney-spears in magazines. but then all of a sudden i realized that the perfectly awkward liz lemon is the self-deprecating creation of tina fey. i'm sure girlfriend has had her fair share of britney wannabe haircuts, and she remembers them all. plus, she's just self-loathing/strangely arrogant enough to decide that she should share these weaknesses with america before america spots these weaknesses in her... which makes her officially a dreamboat.


she's weird in a good way- like going to the gym drunk. maybe this change in my percpetion has something to do with her pushing 40...

those shoes are definitely bi-curious

just when i thought i could distract myself from the boob tube long enough to write a non-tv post, my long-awaited roku player for netflix showed up and was all "hey, you can watch a shitload of movies and tv series on your television INSTANTLY!"... and because thursday nights leave me with an itch only 30 Rock can scratch, and the roku box was ready to go an hour before tina fey was, i decided i'd watch my fave 30 Rock episode: "blind date."

and what a great fucking idea that was. "why?" you ask. gretchen thomas, the brilliant plastics engineer slash lesbian.


she's foxy, funny, and kinda awkward. as if i needed another reason to watch 30 Rock reruns...


i realize that with this post, my blog now takes a decidedly gay bent, but with stephanie march alive and at large, how could it not? that woman's runnin around new york city breakin all kinds of hearts. and since she was noticeably absent from my favorite cop drama last night, and liz lemon insists she and gretchen are "just friends like oprah and gayle," it's totally cool for me to blog-hit-on s. march. now she's just gotta drop that steadman flay.